Tuesday, November 29, 2005

C³: Canadian Common Courtesy

So I guess it was Sunday night, we had a pizza for dinner. Some McCain or something kind, it was a veggie one, full of spinach, real tasty, anyway, not the point of the story.

So shortly after eating it Ferda says to me:

"Hey hot stuff, you've got two big hunks of spinach in your teeth."

"Ok - I'll take care of it later" I says to her thinking that when I brush later that night it will take care of itself.

So the next day, Monday, we are driving home from work when Ferda says to me:

"JAMES! You still have spinach in your teeth!"


So this means all day Monday I was walking around my office with a big piece of green vegetable stuck in between my teeth. How come no one said anything? Do my co-workers not have the common courtesy to quietly tell me?

Or is this a Canadian faux-pas?

Another great day...

Happy Birthday Ferda. Another beautiful year has come and gone, and I've loved spending every minute of it with you. I can't believe what a fantastic year I have had with you. With all that has happened, I expect it will last in our memories forever (as least I hope it will).

Ferda, seni bütün kalbimle seviyorum.

Monday, November 28, 2005

Gichi gichi ya ya za za

James is probably too ashamed to admit it but we also watched Moulin Rouge on Sunday. I love this movie and it sounded great with the surround sound. That song 'Come What May' just gives me chills. It's so beautiful. I know several people that simply don't like this movie. I can't understand why not. Firstly, the music is amazing. Nicole and Ewan sing beautifully. The choreography is awesome. That part where they tango to Police's (or is it just Sting's?) 'Roxanne' is so filled with emotion, passion, violence and rawness. The costumes are breathtaking and the colorful characters are great. If you haven't seen this movie I suggest you give it a chance. I love it. It is definitely in my top 10 (now I'm inspired to do a top 10 list for my favourite movies a la Palmer. I will give that some thought and post later).

In other news I was just at Dick's for lunch with Corinne. We both had the Montreal burger we shared an order of fries and I also had a vanilla shake. This place is so good! I have to take James sometime.

In some more other news... I've spent most of this morning scouring the internet looking for vacation packages for mid-December. I think we've found one. Looks like we're going to Santa Clara in Cuba on the 17th. However, I am not sure if I have the necessary travel documents. I now have a Turkish passport and a Permanent Resident card but on December 5th I will get my citizenship card (oh ya this is further news! I'm getting sworn into Canadian citizenship on the 5th. I've passed my test! Huzzah!). I need to know if I can travel to Cuba without my Canadian passport because I don't think I'll have it in time for the 17th. What do you guys think? Think I can get it by the 17th if I have my citizenship on the 5th? Any experiences with this?

Anyhoo I've rambled on enough for today. I'm signing off.

Review: Weekend

Weekend started with...

Friday: Saw the new movie Just Friends, very funny. I'd say it's half: There's Something About Mary, and half American Pie. Very funny movie, I recommend you watch it. You'll like it - you'll laugh - guaranteed.

Also picked up the complete series of Clone High from Wal-mart. Great purchase. Great show - it's a shame it only lasted one season. Another prime example of stupid tv exec's canceling good, quality programming at the wrong time [see: Futurama, but don't get me started on this...]. The premise behind Clone High can be explained by listening to the lyrics of the opening theme song, let me sing it for you:

Way way back in the 1980s'
Secret government employees
Dug up famous guys and ladies
And made amusing genetic copies
Now the clones are sexy teens, now
They're gonna make it if they try
Loving learning sharing judging
Time to laugh and shiver and

Anyway, as people who have seen this show will tell you, it's hilarious. From JFK [above] running 'casting couches' for his movie, Ghandi's crazy ADD and it's hyper-active cousin, ADHD, Abe being completely oblivious to Joan's love for him, crazy scientist-like principal Scudworth and his robot butler Mr. B, to tons of guest appearances such as Marilyn Manson, Jack Black and Tom Green. This show has it all.

Saturday: We started Christimas baking. We made cheddar jalapeno shortbread cookies and nanaimo bars. Both turned out pretty good in my opinion. Ferda did most of it, I was just around to lick the beaters. During the evening we went to our friends HandJ's place, ordered some really good 'zza from Super Duper, drank tons of coke, and played Mario Party 7 til the wee hours of the morning.

Sunday: Slept in, watched some tv, some dvds, and stayed in sweatpants all day. Beautiful.

Friday, November 25, 2005

Bad or good news for all you dog lovers out there...

Sam, the world's ugliest dog, is no longer with us. [I'll leave that up to you to decide if this is good news or bad news]. After 15 years on this planet, his owner Susie Lockheed put him down due to a failing heart.

However, during his Sam's days on our planet, he led quite the life. After winning the World's Ugliest Dog Competition three years in a row (2003, '04 & '05) - he became quite the celebrity. He travelled the world, rode in limos, was interviewed on TV shows, even briefly met Donald Trump. (Kinda reminds you of Paris Hilton, no?)

The purebred Chinese crested hairless with tons of attitude (again - reminds me of Paris Hilton...) will be missed by all, specifically Lockheed who has said, "I have snuggled Sam under my blankets on my bed for six years."

Sources (1, 2, 3)

Thursday, November 24, 2005

FS: my car

It is with great sadness that I post this 'for sale' ad for my car. She was always good to me... taking me places I needed to be. Alas all good things must come to an end. Let me know if you're, or know of anyone who would be, interested.

Will post pictures tomorrow.


I'm looking to sell my 4-door '97 automatic Honda Accord EX with power-windows/locks and mirrors.

It is in great shape. New tires and brand new Honda battery. I took great care of it while I had it, regular oil changes, check ups, no accidents, etc.

I just checked out Autotrader to see how much a car like mine goes forand I see that they're listed around $7,900 for ones like mine but witheven more miles on it. I have about 145,000 kms on it.

The only thing wrong with it is that its stock radio/tape deck doesn't always work. Hence I will let it go for $7,700 O.B.O. (with that $200 you can replace for a brand new system with CD player!)

If you're looking for a gently driven beautiful blue Accord with grey interior email me --> ferdasim @ gmail.com

Review: Tontie ver. 1


I found this flash game a few months ago, and I find I keep coming back to it. I suppose that's how you can tell when a flash game is good or not.

It's like whack-a-mole with little green aliens. You use your keypad to punch the little guys with your PIKOPIKO HAMMER, and if you're lucky they leave behind little coins. Later in the game, you can use the coins to upgrade your hammer, buy extra lives, and so on.

The game has quite a few levels, I've only made it to level 8, and each level brings on a new type of alien to hit. I encourage you to check it out.

Like my blogsite, it's the perfect way to waste a day.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

PREview: Just Friends & Others

This weekend we hope to see the new movie Just Friends. It officially opens on Friday the 25th - but reviews from sneak previews have been great!

Synopsis: Things are going great for Chris Brander (Reynolds - left); great job, great looks, great life. But ten years ago - things were much different in high school...

These times were different, Chris was fat (see left), unpopular, and best friends with the hottest girl in school: Jamie Palamino (Amy Smart). Chris cherished the time spent with Jamie up until the she gave him the dreaded 'just friends' speech.

Now fate has put Chris back into his home town for the first time in ten years. Because he has changed so much since high school he now has the chance to 'seal the deal' with the girl of his dreams. But try as he might, he keeps slipping back into the friend zone.

I'm pretty excited about this movie, I find Reynolds does quite well in comedies (see: Van Wilder, remember the pastry scene? Ewww...). Not only is Reynolds Canadian (born in Vancouver), the film was shot in Saskatchewan. Since I am a 'movie-guy' and a nationalist, I am happy to see good, quality films coming out of my country.

Speaking of movies, there are a lot of promising intriguing interesting titles coming up for the remainder of 2005 and '06:
  • Chronicles of Narnia (Dec. '05 - previews look incredible! and with a special effects budget of $2 million you know it will rock)
  • King Kong (Dec. '05 - I think this has great potential)
  • The Ringer (Dec. '05 - con-men rig the Special Olympics to pay off a debt and try to de-throne the reigning champ, Jimmy - sounds cruel yet very funny)
  • Superman Returns (very excited for this)
  • Curious George (could be interesting)
  • Mission Impossible 3
  • The Da Vinci Code
  • Xmen 3 (1 & 2 were very good, IMO)
  • Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (the first was great!)
  • Miami Vice (starring Colin Farrell and Jamie Foxx!)
  • Ghost Rider (another tv show re-done into movie)
  • The Grudge 2 (I know Ferda will want to see this one. uhuhuhuuhuhuhuhuhhuh)

That's about it. But it could be an interesting year for new movies.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Change added

Just so you know, I've added a new heading on the sidebar on the left called 'Your all-time favourite posts'.

This now has quick links to some of my favourites and yours, as deemed by the comment feedback. Let me know if you have a favourite I have missed.

Email to a co-worker

Below is an email to a friend/co-worker of mine whose name also happens to be James. I sent it to him after he didn't show up for work on Monday or Tuesday. Please enjoy...

-----Original Message-----
From: James
Sent: Tuesday, November 22, 2005 2:17 pM
To: James
[not Me]
Subject: Hate Mail from yours truly

James James James…

Did you think people wouldn’t find out the truth? Did you think we’d go along with your story? Did you seriously think you could get away with all the lies? Huh!? Huh?! HUH!?!?! Did you think that?!

Well, you were wrong… in fact… DEAD wrong.

Some cover story – food poisoning. Sure – that seems very likely. But it’s all a little TOO convenient… Perhaps we would have believed you if you have used a more clever excuse like alien abduction – or sex change operation. But, seriously man, food poisoning!?! Who gets that these days what with computers and the internet and such…

We know the truth – it’s SO obvious now – the timing works perfectly – and to be honest – I was a fool to not see it before.





You bought a new Xbox 360, didn’t you, you smug bastard.

You took Monday so you could stand in line and be the first to get your greedy, dirty, little hands on it. And you took Tuesday off so you could sit on your arse and play it all day. Frankly, none of this surprises me, not one little bit. But what ticks me off the most, what DOES surprise me, is that you didn’t even invite me.

Tsk tsk tsk…

Rant of the day...

I've really gotten into these CSI, Law & Order shows. I love them all CI, SVU, Miami, NY, LV etc. etc... I find they are really engaging. What I can't stand however is when they throw in the personal lives of the detectives and their relationships. Who watches these shows for that drivel? Not me! I just want to see how the case unfolds not the relationship between blonde CSI lady and the agent from the treasury. Grrrr!!!!!!!!!

Phew! Glad to get that off my chest.

Lyrics: Fix You by Coldplay

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
I will try to fix you

Tears stream down on your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down on your face
And I...

Tears stream down on your face
I promise you I will learn from the mistakes
Tears stream down on your face
And I...

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you.

Monday, November 21, 2005

Official Holly-isms Rating Survey

Click here to take the Official Holly-isms Rating Survey


If you think I have missed a Holly-ism, please add it to the comments section.

UPDATE #1: I will post the results of this survey later.

UPDATE #2: Thanks to AH, AM, FS, and RP for helping me put this together.

UPDATE #3: And Holly, if you actually read this, we only tease because we love.

UPDATE #4: Nov. 21th 10:33am: Latest Results:

A) Wow, thats costly, it could be said to cost an arm in a lake.
B) Ferdas big toenail fell off - she could be known as a leopard.
C) Man Ive got bad breath, I should swallow a scope-ball.
D) Im riding gun-shot!
E) Say: Ive got a nasty-snatch when somebody else farts.
F) Showing up to work on after lunch on a Friday think the day was actually Saturday.
G) In Star Wars Episode I, Obi Kobi was the apprentice of Qui-Gon Jim.
H) When speaking to a man from Pakistan, its ok to call him Pac-Man.
I) The insect that transforms itself into a butterfly is called a capitellar.
J) Whats your favorite song again Holly? Foot LOUIS?

Review: Auberge Val Carroll & Weekend

This past weekend my father took us out for our birthday dinners to a fancy restaurant called Val Carroll.

It's about 1.5 hours out of Ottawa, north of my father's hometown of Hawkesbury. It's a small inn, restaurant, and getaway from the cities of Ottawa and Montreal. Very beautiful place, great scenery and great food.

We were treated to an incredible 5 & 1/2 course meal on Saturday night. With the exception of one other table, we were the only ones in the restaurant.

Dinner started with vol-au-vent; cute little puff pastries crammed full of shrimps and scallops in a tasty cream sauce. This appetizer was very good, I definitely recommend it to anyone.

Following that we were served a satisfying bowl of vegetable soup and hearty salad with more types of lettuce that I knew existed. The dressing was a very intriguing house creation which I would like to try again.

In order to prepare our palettes for the main course, we were given a small martini glass of sorbet; I believe it was lemon flavoured.

For the main course I ordered the fillet-mignon, and ohmigod, it was so good. It came with my own little gravy bowl and veggies and potatoes. Not only was it incredibly juicy and tender, it was wrapped with bacon. IMO - all foods should be wrapped with bacon. [Ferda ordered the pork tenderloin, yes - she ordered pork, and perhaps she might enlighten us on how she found it later on]

The last course was dessert; my favourite of all courses. I had the chocolate mousse while Ferda had the blueberry pie. Both were great and gobbled up quickly. Coffee and tea were next and then it was time to lift ourselves out of our chairs and head home.

Great place for dinner, a little long for the drive, but worth every minute. For those of you who remember going to my cottage, it's in this neck of the woods. Thanks Dad for the great food and the great company!

Now - for the rest of the weekend: Friday night after work Ferda went to a girl's night at Joelle and Amanda's while I went over to Alex's and we did some work in his basement. Saturday morning Pinar came over for a visit, we went to home depot for a few things, watched Ring Two, then drove out to Hawkesbury for dinner. Sunday we put up the Christmas lights, played Mario Party 6 [thanks JamesMo], and then Ferda made the best chicken pot pie you've ever had. I helped a tiny little bit by making the dough for the top of it. But, ohmigod, it was so good! I'm lucky that I get to have the leftovers for lunch today, can't wait! Thanks Ferda!

The Citizenship Test

Well I wrote the citizenship test on Friday. It went pretty well. I'm pretty sure I passed. I didn't get 100% though I am certain I made at least one mistake. It was a dumb question to miss too...The question was: Which of the following is one of the responsibilities of municipal government? a) foreign policy, b)highways, c) postal service and d) building regulations. I chose (b) it was supposed to be (d).

I walked into where I was going to be writing the test and as soon as I arrived they told us to line up so that they could look over our documents and ID and seat us for the test. Even though I was last to arrive since I was already up I was in line first. YES! After I got ushered in the usher came up to me and started chatting with me. She asked if I was Turkish and I said yes. She said her boyfriend was Turkish and was telling me all the Turkish words she knew. She was chatty and very nice which made me less nervous than I was. I also met a Columbian girl who was also very sweet. After I wrote my test. I had to go up to one of the ushers so they could staple my info to my test. Of course, I chose the usher who was talking to me. She quickly looked over my answers and gave me a thumbs up so I guess that's my unofficial test result!

Overall it was quite easy. Much easier than the practice test I posted last week. I think I finished all 20 questions in about 5 minutes. I re-read them at least twice. I was stumped by that municipal gov question but I figured I'd better put something on there than leave it blank.

Everyone keep your fingers crossed for me. If all goes well I should be a citizen before christmas. Yupppie!!!

Today's Joke

The Pope had become very ill and was taken to many doctors, all of whom could not figure out how to cure him. Finally he was brought to an old physician, who stated that he could figure it out. After about an hour's examination he came out and told the cardinals that he knew what was wrong.

He said that the bad news was that it was a rare disorder of the testicles. He said that the good news was that all the Pope had to do to be cured was to have sex. Well, this was not good news to the cardinals, who argued about it at length.

Finally they went to the pope with the doctor and explained the situation. After some thought, the Pope stated, "I agree, but under four conditions." The cardinals were amazed and there arose quite an uproar. Over all of the noise there arose a single voice that asked, "And what are the four conditions?" The room stilled. There was a long pause....

The pope replied: "First the girl must be blind, so that she cannot see with whom she is having sex." "Second, she must be deaf, so that she cannot hear with whom she is having sex". "And third, she must be dumb so that if somehow she figures out with whom she is having sex, she can tell no one."

After another long pause a voice arose and asked, "And the fourth condition?

The Pope replied, "Big tits."

Friday, November 18, 2005

Swiss beat Turks in soccer match; Turks beat Swiss in Tunnel

Violence erupted after Switzerland beat Turkey at home and qualified for the 2006 World Cup in Germany. The Swiss advanced on Wednesday due to away goals, since the aggregate score for the two games were 4-4.

As both teams left the pitch and headed towards the locker room, a brawl ensued in the tunnel and one Swiss player was hospitalized. In typical football fashion, the fight consisted of kicks and curse words.

Turkey now faces disciplinary action which might ban them from the next World Cup in 2010. "If we're going to be penalized, we'll work to be sure that Switzerland gets the same penalty," Turkish federation president Levent Bicakci said.


Truly unbelievable, I could never imagine doing something like this.

The Sun Online - News: Rugby Fan Cuts off Tackle

Scary stuff.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Typical conversation at 7:15 am

"I wish I didn't have so many pimples on my forehead, I'm going to look like a teenager for this interview."

"You don't look like a teenager."


Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Memories - OUCH!

Man. After reading Ferda's post, it brought back so many memories. Memories of the wedding day, of the dinner, the dancing, having a great time with all our friends and family. Thank you to Ferda for being my best friend, my partner, and my co-blog-writer. ;-)

It also brought back memories of the bachelor party. Matt, Ryan, Warren, Alex and lots of other guys were all there. And I really appreciate that they all came together and organized it for me. It was a great day.

As you can tell from the photo, we went to an indoor pain centre called TagZone, paintball guns loaded with rubber bullets propelled by co2. TagZone compares the feeling of being hit by one to that of a "wet towel or rubber band shot".

Look at the photo closely. No, that's not a third nipple under my armpit. That's a giant welt. Yes, it was that big just five minutes after the game was done. Just imagine what it looked like the next day.

One of the war games we played consisted of two teams: team one was comprised of myself, team two was comprised of everyone else. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, for this game, I got my gun taken away. I don't remember this game having a specific name, but due to my repeated nightmares of it, I now call it: Murder Ball.

Actually, I'm just joking here, despite my complaints and rants, I had a fantastic time that day. Thanks guys.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

married life...

It has been about 3.5 months now since we've been married. Everyday when I look at my husband and hold his hand I am filled with happiness. I won't lie it is not always a walk in the park. I have quite the temper on me and although he won't admit it there are lots of things that will set James off as well. I would love to bring up one of our fights to show how silly we can be but to be honest at this moment I can't think of anything. Luckily we are able to move on easily... We both have a very good idea of how to deal with one another when we are feeling grouchy. We will always end up apoligizing to one another and making up. We have come to accept that these things are a part of being married but there is no need to blow things out of proportion and nothing is worth comprimising what we have because at the end of the day we have something very rare and special.

I know this post is starting to smell like eau de fromage but I can't help it! This is partly my blog and this is how I feel at the moment so I'll post whatever I like...

As James wrote earlier we got the year's first snowfall this morning. As pretty as it looked I was not excited to be going in to work and it was very difficult getting out of bed. By the time I finally did get up and shower I was feeling slightly better but what really made my morning was coming downstairs to the kitchen and finding it cleaned up entirely, dishes put away and to step outside to my car and hear it purring already because my husband thought ahead and warmed it up for me... now, I'm sure you can appreciate why I would start the day with such a post...

Thank you for reading... Ferda

Today it snows

It's as if yesterday's post summoned the Greek God of Winter, Persephone, to come to Ottawa and start it all.

So the remainder of today's post shall be a Greek Mythology lesson; the story of Persephone (also known as Kore "the maiden", or the goddess of the budding grain, she is the daughter of Demeter).

Persephone was playing with the daughters of Okeanos, picking flowers on a lush meadow, when she beheld a hundred-blossomed narcissus planted by the earth mother Gaea to please the god of death, Hades. As Persephone bent to pluck it with both hands, a chasm appeared in the ground, and from it rose Hades, who seized her and carried her down to his realm. Because Demeter abandoned her divine functions to look for Persephone, the springs of fertility ran dry: vegetation languished, animals ceased to multiply, and the hand of death touched mankind.

And this is how Winter began. Pretty neat, huh?

Monday, November 14, 2005

OC Transpo's Tyranny Continues

OC Transpo's work-to-rule is now in effect. This means two things for all Ottawa residents:

1 - expect delays when taking transit
- and -
2 - watch your ass when you cross the street

About an hour ago when I was walking back to my office from the gym, I crossed the street I cross everyday. JamesMo and I were about to cross the street (at the crosswalk I add), when we saw the city bus coming towards us we naturally assumed the bus would stop for the red, octagonal-shaped street sign. Apparently the driver doesn't know what that sign means...

I must have missed the memo on this one, but transit drivers don't want to work OR follow the rules of the road.

To quote Homer J. Simpson:

"Public transportation is for losers."

41 days until Santa comes

Did you know that there is less than 6 weeks until Xmas? That seems very soon.

I remember when I was a young boy, I always would get SO excited at this time of year. I knew Xmas was just around the corner after my birthday passed.

Back when I was that young age, I used to get excited for the presents, definitely the presents. Now, I am far more excited for the time off from everything. Lately in my life, the net book value of vacation days has gone way up. Especially for Christmas holidays when we get like a full week off, how sweet it that?

One thing about this time of year that hasn't changed, is my excitedness for the snow to come. I have always really liked snow. Growing up in Vancouver we hardly got any, and I guess this is to blame for why I love the white stuff so much. When it did snow when I was young, it was like white gold. All the kids on the block would be outside, making snowmen, riding sleds, generally having a great time. These experiences probably have built to my overall love of the snow and the holiday season.

Maybe it's a little early, but what the hell:

Happy Holidays!

Friday, November 11, 2005

Happy Weekend to All

Almost time to get the hell outta here, I can't wait. Been a long week, which is weird, seeing that I had Monday off. Oh well, it's done.

No big plans for the weekend, having some friends over for dinner and games tonight. Before we left for work in the morning, Ferda placed a big pot roast in the slow cooker with a whole bunch of carrots and potatoes and onions and stuff. Can't wait to dig into it. I bet the kitchen smells great since it's been cooking and simmering in there all day. I'm super proud of my wife because she makes the best meals. She's a great cook. It's not the main reason why I married her, but it certainly is a fantastic bonus. Teşekkür ederim Ferda, seni çok seviyorum.

Maybe seeing Dad on the weekend, he said something about birthday dinners, but not sure of the day. I will have to call him tonight.

Got some French homework to get done. Easy but time consuming. And Ferda's got some studying to do.

Probably watch a movie over the weekend, either at the *hand gestures* cinema, or via rental from Blockbuster. We really want to see Just Friends when it comes out November 23rd. It looks very funny.

Really, and most importantly, it will be nice just to relax and rest. Sit around, maybe enjoy the gas fireplace. Maybe make some cocoa and smores....



*drools on keyboard*

eww gross my toenail fell off!

Well last night after my shower I noticed my toenail was just hanging by a hinge off my big toe. I couldn't believe it! It peeled right off.

Nails have always given me the willies. I must have some sort of phobia or something because they really make me cringe. I can't stand to grow them and really don't like seeing long nails on others (sorry!)

Over the summer I played 3 nights of ultimate and all that running around in cleats really did a number on my feet. My big toenail on my right foot had gotten all bruised and ugly but I really didn't think anything of it... all this time you think you can count on your toenails to be around and then one day without any warning wham they just fall off! WTH!

I will spare you guys a picture of my lovely toenail-less toe but I'm at a loss as to what to do... do I see a doctor? I don't want to becayse I'd feel lame if all he's going to say is: it'll grow out. It doesn't even hurt.

The classic 'dog ate my homework' excuse takes a back seat

In Hillsdale, Michigan, 18 year old Mike Sessions was elected Mayor for his town of 8,200. He now has the best excuse for not completing his homework.

In fact, maybe you saw, but he appeared on the Late Show last night and read his own top ten list. In case you didn't see, here's the Top Ten Good Things About Being An 18-Year-Old Mayor, thanks to Letterman:

10. "Parents try to tell me what to do, I raise their taxes"
9. "Every night, a different member of the town council does my homework"
8. "It's every teen's dream: The power to regulate zoning laws"
7. "Goodbye, education budget -- Hello, brand new X-box"
6. "I got a call from Demi Moore"
5. "Trying to get the city hall on an episode of 'MTV Cribs'"
4. "I don't have to wait in line at Applebee's anymore"
3. "School bullies now have to deal with the Feds"
2. "Only victory speech featuring the word 'Dude'"


1. "It's flattering when President Bush calls me for advice"

According to the facts, he won't really have that much power; his main role will be to assist the councilors in approving the budget and making policy decisions. Since he's only required to attend two council meetings per month, which are held in the evening, Session's school won't be interrupted.

But still, 18 and the mayor. Sweet.

iplaying: Fighting in a Sac by the Shins

Thursday, November 10, 2005

O Canada

The other day I got a letter in the mail from Citizenship & Immigration Canada saying that I was scheduled to take my citizenship test on the 18th of this month. I had been waiting to hear from them for some time now so I was excited to hear that things are finally progressing on the citizenship front. In the summer they had sent me a booklet to study what would be on the test. To be honest I rifled through it but didn't read it entirely. I will be doing that this weekend. At work I found this site where you can practice the test. To be honest the questions aren't all easy but some are simply hillarious. I urge you to go check it out and comment how you did.

For eg.:

Which three legal rights are protected by the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms?
c. Right to ski anywhere in Canada, right to move, and right to public assembly.

LOL Did y'all know you had the right to ski. Ain't it grand being a Canadian.

Here's another one I liked:
List three ways in which you can protect the environment
d. Pour solvents down storm drains, leave taps running, leave lights on.

But seriously, I am super excited that my citizenship is finally going through. I hope to do well on the test and not have to reschedule. I expect that you all will be sending your good vibrations my way on the 18th around 11:00.

What a Stooge

So last night the wife and I get home around 9pm apres le cours francais and we want to watch a little TV. We flip through the guide to find out that the only promising show is The Apprentice: Martha Edition. Since both of us are big fans of the Trump edition, and neither of us have the watched the Martha one before, we tune in.

Now I'm sure most of you are familiar with Trump's stooges who sit beside him at the boardroom, specifically George and Carolyn. Well you guessed it, Martha has the exact same setup: some old bald guy and a smack-talking woman with a short haircut.

During Martha's boardroom, which she calls the conference room, this moron [wish I could have found a picture] above held a huge, UNLIT cigar between his fingers the whole time. And while he berated Martha's candidates he shook his hand at them meanwhile continuing to hold the unlit cigar.

Unbelievable. He's just trying to look cool. He probably doesn't even smoke.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Zip it

Don't really have much to say today. No witty remarks, no sassy comebacks, no punny jokes.

But I will leave you with this strange bit of news courtesy of Ananova for the day:

Two dogs have got married in front of 70 guests in a £700 ceremony in the US. Two-year-old Bobby married Gracie, who's three, in their hometown of Clinton Township, Michigan, reports the Detroit Free Press.

Susan Laurer, 79, the owner of the groom, gave Bobby away to Gracie's owners, neighbours Frank and Cyndi Parise. She said: "Bobby loved Gracie at first sight. Now they play together, walk together and fight together."
Bobby wore a top hat, black tuxedo and red bowtie, while Gracie, her nails painted pink, sauntered down the aisle in a puffy white gown.

"We are gathered here today," said Pastor Joseph DeRose of Evangel Christian Church in Roseville, "to celebrate the joining of the paws of Bobbie and Gracie on this beautiful Sunday." After some brief remarks, DeRose announced: "Now I introduce to you, Mr. and Mrs. Bobby and Gracie Laurer."

During the reception that followed, the newlyweds dug into a two-tiered, bone-shaped cake with a pink heart in the centre.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

My sides are splitting reading these

Do you remember Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey from SNL? These are my favourites:
  • Too bad when I was a kid there wasn't a guy in our class that everybody called the "Cricket Boy", because I would have liked to stand up in class and tell everybody, "You can make fun of the Cricket Boy if you want to, but to me he's just like everybody else." Then everybody would leave the Cricket Boy alone, and I'd invite him over to spend the night at my house, but after about five minutes of that loud chirping I'd have to kick him out. Maybe later we could get up a petition to get the Cricket Family run out of town. Bye, Cricket Boy.
  • I think a good product would be "Baby Duck Hat". It's a fake baby duck, which you strap on top of your head. Then you go swimming underwater until you find a mommy duck and her babies, and you join them. Then, all of a sudden, you stand up out of the water and roar like Godzilla. Man, those ducks really take off! Also, Baby Duck Hat is good for parties.
  • At first I thought, if I were Superman, a perfect secret identity would be "Clark Kent, Dentist," because you could save money on tooth X-rays. But then I thought, if a patient said, "How's my back tooth?" and you just looked at it with your X-ray vision and said, "Oh it's okay," then the patient would probably say, "Aren't you going to take an X-ray, stupid?" and you'd say, "Aw fuck you, get outta here," and then he probably wouldn't even pay his bill.
  • A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone. "Hear that?" you say. "That's dynamite, baby."

    Birthday weekend

    Thank you to everyone who wrote, called, wished, thought birthday wishes my way.

    I was blown away to find like 10 happy birthday emails in my inbox when I got into work this morning. Thank you all!

    Took yesterday off, thought I deserved it. :-) It was nice. And Ferda wrote earlier, we didn't do much, just hung out, ate, played Katamari, did a little shopping. Bought a new shirt from MEC, very comfy and warm, I love it. Ferda got a similar one, I guess it's kinda dorky that we are wearing similar clothes, but oh well, that's us [I guess].

    Got a couple new CDs - the ND soundtrack and the new Shins album - Chutes Too Narrow. Both are really good.

    To follow Ryan's example:

    iamcurrentlylisteningto: Canned Heat by Jamiroquai

    Usual crap at work - with the exception of tomorrow. We have a supervisor's lunch meeting which afterwards we are going bowling. Awesome. Bowling during work hours. I suppose that is what it would feel like to be unemployed.

    Peace out.

    Happy Birthday my Sweet!

    We both took the day off work yesterday to celebrate a momentous occasion. The birthday of my dearest! He is 24 now. What a great year it has been with the wedding and new house. I had such a great time yesterday. We slept in. Had a yummy breakfast and went shopping, baked cookies, went for a walk, had chicken tacos for dinner and watched Kicking and Screaming (2.5/5) and Batman (5/5).

    Friday, November 04, 2005


    Yeah right

    So last night I got home after 9pm, and what do I find rolled up in the handle of my front door? A little slip of paper from my dear friend ADAM DONALD at the Municipal Property Assessment Corporation. Apparently he dropped by for a visit shortly after lunch at 12:15, but as the slip reads, he "was unable to find anyone at home".


    Maybe this guy doesn't realize that to afford the outrageous property taxes he has assessed, I need to work for a living. Geez, who would have thought of that? And give me a break. He's just feeding this information to some suit in Queen's Park that will enter my info into a computer that will spit out that my property tax is going to be one of the highest in the province.

    [I'll admit that currently, the MPAC thinks we own a hole in the ground, and they have us assessed at $49,000. I'd like to keep it that way as long as possible] ;-)

    Honestly, what does this pay for? For the garbage men to come by and NOT pick up my trash? Because that's what is happening. They just leave it strewn across my yard. Or maybe it's to pay for the crummy job the pavers did on the road in front of my house - so bad each time I exit my driveway I bottom out. Thanks.

    So the slip also reads, "Please contact my office asap to verify the information over the phone." Which I think really means: tell me how much you paid for this house, so we can jack up your taxes, SUCKER!

    Yeah right Adam. Dream on.

    Wednesday, November 02, 2005

    How to piss me off

    Send me an email asking if the cheque has been processed but don’t give me any information such as payee, amount, date, etc.

    That’s right people – I can read minds.

    UPDATE (Nov. 4 - 1:28pm) New email from a different person:

    'I don't suppose there is a cheque for me down there by any chance?'

    Hell no!!!


    I frickin' hate call centres. Especially call centres of shipping companies. No useful information can EVER come out of a conversation with someone from one of those places.

    I think dealing with CSR's and A/R departments and collection agencies is the WORST part of my job. I will procrastinate for weeks if I need to make a call to one of those places...

    well if we're posting song lyrics now...

    I'm so ronery - Kim Jong Il

    I'm so Ronery / So ronery / So ronery and sadry arone / There's no one / Just me onry / Sitting on my rittle throne / I work very hard to be number one guy / but, stiwr there's no one to right up my rife / Seems rike no one takes me serirousry / And so, I'm ronery / A rittle ronery / Poor rittle me / There's no one I can rerate to / Feewr rike a biwd in a cage / It's kinda siwry / but, not reawry / because, it's fiwring my body with rage / I'm the smartest, most crever, most physicawry fit / but, none of the women seem to give a shit / Maybe someday, they'wr awr notice me / And untiwr then, I'wr be ronery / Yeah, a rittle ronery / Poor rittle me...

    Lyrics - One of these things first - by Nick Drake

    I could have been a sailor, could have been a cook
    A real live lover, could have been a book.
    I could have been a signpost, could have been a clock
    As simple as a kettle, steady as a rock.

    I could be
    Here and now
    I would be, I should be
    But how?
    I could have been
    One of these things first
    I could have been
    One of these things first.

    I could have been your pillar, could have been your door
    I could have stayed beside you, could have stayed for more.
    Could have been your statue, could have been your friend,
    A whole long lifetime could have been the end.
    I could be yours so true
    I would be, I should be through and through
    I could have been
    One of these things first
    I could have been
    One of these things first.

    I could have been a whistle, could have been a flute
    A real live giver, could have been a boot.
    I could have been a signpost, could have been a clock
    As simple as a kettle, steady as a rock.
    I could be even here
    I would be, I should be so near
    I could have been
    One of these things first
    I could have been
    One of these things first.


    This is a test to see if Holly P. actually reads these blogs. She told me on Sunday that she does - but I don't believe her.

    Holly - you've got til Friday to post a comment - otherwise you fail this test.

    Tuesday, November 01, 2005

    Great News Everyone!

    Looks like the rest of the week just got better. I just found out that the horrible, err, my favourite auditor won't be in our office til Monday.


    Not only that, but it's 4:11pm - I'm outta here in 9 - that's right, count 'em, N.I.N.E. minutes.


    how creepy was this movie? What made me shriek the most in this movie was the demented clown that kept appearing in various scenes.

    Inspired by the creepy haunted houses we visited over the weekend I know that next year I won't be some cheesy movie character or naughty nurse/maid/cheerleader/ninja etc... (I've never donned such a costume but they seem to be all the rage) but rather be something really terriying. Today I found this awesome mask that will accomplish said task... voila!


    ... I seem very pessimistic towards work. This could be for a number of reasons - here are some of the most probable:

    • Maybe this has something to do with the fact that I just got back from a vacation.
    • As I get older - my patience is shrinking.
    • There's a new virus out that I'm immune to, and the main symptom is stupidity.
    • Winter is coming.