Thursday, August 31, 2006

For the Strong Stomach'd Only

Reported at, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have a surprise for their fans; however, it's not what you were expecting. Many people across the globe have been anxious to see little Suri - for now, you'll still have to wait. But - you can see something that Suri has made:

Suri Cruise's 'First Poop' Goes On Display

I really don't know what to say... [other than make sure you see the picture!]

Mini-rant, Numbers, Advice

So starting today, the HBH A/P staff has decreased by 50% - all payable functions of the entire university are being run by two people. Booya. This will last for another week and a bit before one of them returns to work. The fourth won't return until Sept 20th.

Good times.

What's really interesting is that just two people can spend so much money on a daily basis. For example: just today, we produced over 1.2 million dollars in cheques alone. We actually spent more if you include the procurement card expenses. And tomorrow I expect the numbers to be relatively the same. I suppose this large amount of spending can be attributed towards 'back to school' stuff. Also, a lot of the faculty are returning from their summer 'research trips' and expensing it.

Such bullshit.

My advice to anyone out there who wants to scam the system: get a research grant. You have no idea how much of Canadian tax-payer's money that is spent on 'research activities' at HBH, let alone across all of Canada. So my advice is this: apply for it. You never know - you might get some. Heck, it's your money to begin with.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006


Last minute work plans has put Ferda in Toronto/Windsor/Detroit for the next two days. I drove her to the Ottawa Airport this morning for her 6am flight (I've been awake since 4:15 this morning...)

She flys to Toronto, meets up with someone, then they take a train to Windsor, then a bus across the river to Detroit for a meeting they have at 1:30 this afternoon. Later in the day, they train it back to Toronto and Ferda spends the night in a hotel near Mississauga or someplace. She catches a 4pm return flight home to Ottawa on Thursday. Apparently there's some work that needs to be done in Toronto on the Thursday as well.

She was nervous to go, I think mostly because she's never stayed in a hotel room on her own before. But I think she was also a little excited. This could be a good opportunity for advancement in her work. Her bosses are showing that they have faith in her to meet with these folks in Detroit; faith that they think she can handle it. I know she can.

The sad part is that I haven't been without her for a while. I suppose the last time we were apart was when I went with Warren to the Dominican Republic around this time last year (interestingly enough - he's headed down there again very shortly for a holiday).

Even though this is only for 36 hours, I'll still be counting down each one until it reaches zero.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Weekend Review: Aug 26 -27

So here's the scoop, not as interesting as Palmer's weekend, no weddings or babies. Actually, we were invited to a wedding but we were unable to attend.

So Friday night we had a practice for our new fall ultimate team, Tragically Flick. This is basically a spin off of Holly's summer team with a few new additions to the team: Me, Ferda, Alex, and Warren. Looks like it should be a fun couple of months for fall ultimate with this team.

Saturday morning brought us back down to UPI for some more ultimate playoffs. Ferda and I were both subbing with Jousting Disco Camels for the two games of the day. When we got there, we realized that we were in for a treat, they were very short on players: only 4 guys and 4 girls (ultimate is played with a ratio of 4 guys: 3 girls). So this meant a lot of running for us both. Sadly, both games were lost, but we still had fun and tried our hardest.

After the games, I met up with Holly, Alex, and Jay for some wakeboarding along the Rideau. Wicked times. I'm really loving the wakeboarding. This time I tried some new things, like loading the rope, which increases your speed as you cut back towards the wake, making for a bit of a pop up so you can get some air. I had some good jumps, and some even better wipe-outs.

Saturday night I was completely exhausted.

Sunday morning we got up, I made breakfast while Ferda watched Coronation Street. Around noon we headed again down to UPI for more ultimate playoffs. This time two games with our Monday team, Huckin Hores. We fought really hard and won both games, making us Monday Tier 5 champions. Later that night we went to Holly's and Alex's for dinner, she made lasanga and caesar salad and garlic bread. It was a GREAT dinner, thanks Holly.

Monday, August 28, 2006

Congratulations Jen & Mike!

I hope Jen won't mind that I snaked this breathtaking photo off her photographer's site but she's off on her honeymoon so she'll be none the wiser till she gets back from Mexico - then I'm in trouble!. I wish we could have been there to give our love and support to the stunning couple in person but we just couldn't swing it. I just want to give my heartfelt congratulations and wish a lifetime of happiness to Jen & Mike! Hip Hip Hooray!!!

Hillarious Emmys Intro feat. Conan

this intro sequence for the Emmys is hillarious. It's a bit long at 6.5 mins but well worth it esp. for TV lovers like les Pimpsons. Enjoy!

Friday, August 25, 2006

All good things must come to an end

So back in July, I posted about how we were able to 'borrow' our neighbour's WiFi connection and play online with the DS in various games like MarioKart and Tetris. However, when I tried to connect last night after I got home from work, the DS couldn't find a signal. Turns out he/she must have figured out that we were piggy-backing their service for free and got wise and locked up the router with an encrypted WEP. The SSID has been changed now to 'Wonders of Wireless' - I don't understand that, but anyway. If the tables were reversed, I would have given it a cooler name like 'Don't steal my Wireless, BIATCH!' or 'BUSTED!'.


I am disappointed, but I suppose I don't really have the right to be. Mostly because I did have fun playing online with the DS while it lasted. Perhaps we'll have to revisit the discussion of the Pimpson's actually getting a home computer and internet connection of our own.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Gobble Gobble Gobble!

[MSN Conversation from August 23, 3:11pm]

James says: honey, can I ask you a question?

Ferda says: of course.

James says: do you get confused when people (talking about thanksgiving) say, "Happy Turkey Day"?

Ferda says: uhhh... no.

James says: Do they have a Turkey Day? Similar to Canada Day?

Ferda says: no it's independance day.

James says: and it's never referred to as "Turkey Day"?

Ferda says: nope.

James says: damn. I was just curious. I thought it was a legitimate question.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Attention all shoppers!

So the other day I was as wallyworld and I bought a box of splenda which was marked as $4.50. I paid and was walking out the store when I looked over my receipt and realized that I had been overcharged $5.99 for the splenda. I went back to the store and had them look into it for me. So the girl at customer service goes to the rack where I got it and comes back to confirm that I'm correct. She then proceeds to give me the difference which is where I say "HOLD UP MISSY!". What about all the inconvenience of waiting in line at customer service to deal with "YOUR" mistake. I know that certain stores have a scanner error policy where they will give you the product for free if you can prove it got scanned at a higher price than advertised. Sure enough wallyworld is one of these stores. She said she can't put the policy in effect unless I bring it up which is BS if you ask me. Luckily I knew of the policy. Sure enough I got my box of Splenda for free.

So yesterday I was back at my local wallyworld. Why do I keep going back to that place and it's messed up scanners, busy aisles, annoying customers who like to shop in packs?!?!? Oh ya... cos I'm a cheap-o...

Anywho... I saw my favourite saputo brand mozarella on sale for $6.50 and I picked one up along with some other items. So I'm back at the till and I'm watching the scanner like a hawk this time. So, the cheese scans at $8.99. I tell the checkout guy and he makes an announcement to have someone near the food aisle give him a call. Meanwhile a huge line is forming behind me but I'm determined to stick to my guns on this one. Sure enough I'm correct once again and I tell him of the scanner error policy which I would like to have him apply to my cheese. They even had a notice about it right beside his register. He had no idea about it but he obliged and I got me my free cheese.

I guess the reason I'm telling you all this (at the expense of fessing up to the fact that I'm a wallyworld-goer) is so that you know that as a shopper you have rights and that you should pay attention to what you are being charged. It is so easy to not pay attention and not want to inconveniance other shoppers while you are in line but it's not right that you be charged more for something you thought would be less. You may think it's a small difference but it adds up. It is certainly not uncommon that this happens (both incidents occurred to me within 10 days). Employees manually enter values into scanners and are apt to make mistakes, it's normal. Oh and I believe it's not just wallyworld who has this policy. I've had the same thing happen to me at a shoppers once as well. Just be a smart shopper and know your rights. Ok I'm done my PSA. Y'all have a nice day now!

The Highly Anticipated Weekend Review of August 19-20th

Back by popular demand. Faster than a turtle, able to leap small puddles in a single bound, ya ya, let's get into it.

Friday: Scheduled quarter-final playoff game for Gullwings ultimate team. We were set to kick some names and take some ass. However, the other team wasn't. Only two of their players showed up to the field. So we won by default. I was happy to get the win, but pissed that the other team couldn't have let us know beforehand that they couldn't field a team. That was some high class jack ass-ery, IMO. So our team practiced some drills and endzone plays in preparation for Saturday's finals. When we were done, Ferda and I headed home.

Saturday: I made a nice, big breakfast for Ferda which consisted of scrambled eggs, OJ, toast, sausage, and McD-style potato patties. Aww yeah. Chilled at home for the morning until noon-ish when we headed to the ultimate parks for our games. First up, Ferda's all girls team had two games. These were during the middle of the day when it was the hottest, and a lot of the girls were coming off to the sidelines with heat stroke. I tried to act like a good husband and fetched water and gatorade for her team. And for all my hard work, I earned the nickname DiscoBitch (their team name is Discolicious). After two long, hard-fought, back-to-back games, they came out on top and won both. The prize: free beer.

As soon as Ferda's second game was over, the Gullwing's games were about to start. I laced up and Ferda prepared herself for another round of tough competition. After a perfect, undefeated season, our hopes were high that we could win the championship. The first game (semi-final) was tough and dirty, but we came out on top.

That placed us against Steak Sauce for the first time in the final. We both know a few players from Steak Sauce, Kevin, Ryan - coworker, and Rick - former teammate from Blades of Grass (another team of mine). As usual, tons of smack was talked prior to the first pull, however, both teams decided we would work hard to keep the game clean, seeing as we all had had a dirty match beforehand. Steak Sauce took and early lead and surprised the crap out of us. We rallied hard and came back to even the score. After trading points for a while, and the clock ticking down, Steak Sauce pulled ahead by a couple and smashed what hopes the Gullwings had of repeating our championship win from the year before. Congrats to them are well deserved. (You can read Kev's take on the game here.)

Ferda, after playing 4 straight games, was dead. And my fat ass, after only playing 2, was just as sore. So we headed home with our heads hanging low and cleaned up. We dined on a spaghetti dinner that Ferda had placed in the crock-pot earlier that morning. It was frickin' fan-tastic. Later that night, we both passed out around 10pm.

Sunday: Playoffs were planned for this day for our other team, Blades of Grass. However, due to large amounts of rain which had fallen the night before, games were cancelled. Sad as it was, we were actually kind of happy to get the rest our bodies so dearly needed. We managed a small trip to the grocery store, then chill-axed for the rest of the day.

Monday: Back to ultimate (can you see some kind of a pattern here?). Our Monday team, Huck'n Hores, now gearing up for it's playoffs this coming weekend, had our quarter-final matchup. We took it to the other team quite solidly and walked away with the win. For those keeping track, playoffs for Huck'n Hores are coming up this Sunday.

Tuesday: Met up with Alex and Dan, and the 3 of us went wakeboarding on the Rideau after work. Since the sun is now setting pretty early, we only got a couple hours in. Regardless, it was a great time. After a couple spills, both Alex and I conquered a new move, the surface 180. While Dan, a beginner, was able to get up on his 3rd try and did great. Awesome times. Thanks Alex.

Forecast for the rest of the week: Tonight (Wednesday) - subbing with Jousting Disco Camels (yes, MORE ultimate). I'm also subbing with them on Saturday for their playoffs. Obviously, what little weekend plans we have are dominated by ultimate. This is pretty much the last week for summer ultimate, so I'm happy to get as much in as possible. God knows the winter will be long and cold.

Return of the BestMan

Aww yeah. Good news, everyone (I say this to all my imaginary readers). Jordan has planned a trip out East (from his home in Vancouver). He arrives on the Saturday morning (Sept 2nd) of the Labour Day Weekend. Kick.Ass.

Upcoming plans to include: visit to cottage, tour of downtown, possible pub night, and pretty much whatever. He's here in Ottawa til Wednesday the 9th when he heads up to Quebec City for a young NDP convention or something.

Unbelievable how soon this really is. This month of August has really flown by. Not much has really happened with the exception of ultimate, but whatever. I suppose a weekend review of August 19/20th is in order, especially since some anonymous person has asked for it - stayed tuned for that.

Oh yeah, Jordan and I look smokin' hot in that pic, eh?!?

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Return of the Growling Monster

[MSN Conversation from August 22, 9:41am]

Ferda says:

James says: OH.MY.GOD. The resemblance is uncanny.

Previous growling monster posts can be found here and here.

Monday, August 21, 2006

The Endless Struggle that is WoW

[MSN Conversation from August 21st, 8:58am]

James says: no Jmo today? :-(

Sner says: he's really sick with a cold

James says: aww... that's what you get when you play with dirty dragons who live in filthy dungeons. ESPECIALLY if you don't wash your hands afterwards.

Sner says: it's very very true.

Friday, August 18, 2006

Simpsons Trivia - August 18, 2006

In The Bart Wants What It Wants, Homer advises to never give a woman nicknames, like what?

A. Toots or Nubby
B. Minx or Nymphet
C. Jumbo or Boxcar
D. Blimpy or Zeppelin


Memorable episode quotes:
Bart: Those weren't bullies. That's a bully!
Nelson: Hey Butler, stop butling yourself!

another one:
Greta: I'm leaving in ten minutes, my dad's shooting a movie in Toronto.
Bart: You're going to Spain!?

and another:
Bart: I dunno dad, what if she's still mad at me?
Homer: Listen to me, son. No one loves a quitter, so you go over there and win her back!
Bart: But she might say no!
Homer: Oh I quit, there's no convincing you. I'm gonna take a nap.

Milhouse: You're breaking up with me? Why?
Greta: I guess I was just looking for someone more... masculine.
Milhouse: I told you, I don't know how that scrunchee got in my hair.

last one:
Milhouse: I can't believe we're on the Canadian olympic basketball team.
Bart: Yep, it's just that easy :throws ball but misses hoop:
Player: Wow, that was close, you can be the center.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Thursday Office Time Waster

I know today's not Friday. But this week's game is just too good to make you wait an extra day. Heck, I've already been playing quite a lot. The game is called Dolphin Olympics. And I think what makes it so good is that the controls are really simple (one hand), the learning curve is like 3 seconds, and the replay value is huge. I can see coming back here daily to blow off some work related steam for 5 minutes.

Anyway, check it out. My top score so far is 113,460, highest jump 31.42 M.


Weekend Plans; Moustache

Looking forward to this weekend since it's playoffs for 2 of my teams for ultimate. Gullwings has a quarter final on Friday night, then the semi's and the final on Saturday. On Sunday we have the semi's and final for Blades of Grass. Blades of Grass already lost the quarter final on Tuesday night, but we still had fun and that's what counts.

However, Gullwings are kicking ass. For the regular season (which is now over) we finished with a 11 - 0 record, all wins. And our plus / minus is at 104. That's huge. We're very stoked that we could win the Friday tier 1 championship again.

Ferda has the same games that I do, plus some others: she also plays tonight with her girls team, Discolicious, then again 2 extra games on Saturday. By Sunday night, she will have played 8 games since Thursday. She's pretty hard-core. I'm very proud of her for playing so hard. I certainly don't have the balls to be playing that much. I would be complaining the whole time.

In moustache-related-news, it's been shaved. Sorry. I know. But I have a feeling it will be returning later in the Fall.

Finally, jump over to the Holly-isms site for a new one that was just posted. It's a keeper, trust me.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Simpsons Trivia - August 16, 2006

In Half Decent Proposal, what does Homer consider "the sweetest taboo"?

A. Peeing with the door open
B. Not leaving a tip
C. Ringing the doorbell and running
D. Unguarded breakfasts

reason why this episode rocks: Artie Ziff, Marge Simpson's prom date with "busy hands" in high school, was voiced by Jon Lovitz.

Memorable episode quotes:
Woman 1: If I'm not having sex by the end of this goat cheese casavia, I'm going to scream.
Woman 2: I also enjoy sex.
Woman 3: Since this morning I've had sex with a New York Knick, two subway cops, and a guy who works on Wall Street.
Woman 4: Broker?
Woman 3: Nah, she's just really sore!
:all women laugh at her joke, a waiter joins in:
Patty: This is so like our lives!
Selma: Yeah! It's like they hid a camera in our apartment.

another one:
Marge: Dear Artie.
Selma: Dear Hottie!
Marge: Congratulations on your recent TV appearance.
Selma: I wanna sex you up! Your love slave, Marge.
Marge: :gasp: You can't use the word "Sex" on the internet!
Selma: Watch me! :clicks send:
Marge: :gasps loudly:

another one:
Artie: You own Marge's heart, and that's something I could never buy.
Homer: Woohoo! :climbs ladder, looks back for Lenny:
Lenny: There's nothing on that helicopter for me!
Carl: Don't be so sure!
Lenny: :gasps: Carl Carlson!

last one:
Homer: Goodnight honey. :snores, Marge turns his Snore converter on , "sweet dreams are made of these" begins to play:
Artie: He's a loser Marge, dump him! :sings: I travelled the world and the seven seas, I am watching you through a camera!


Thanks to Palmer for finding this site.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006


What has the world got against moustaches? For the past week and a bit, I've been sporting a pretty sweet moustache.

However, hardly anyone likes it. I don't understand.

Friday, August 11, 2006

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Interesting ideas

Not sure what to get that special someone? Running short on birthday ideas? Need an imaginative way to get a point across?

Try this:
Heinz Talking Labels

Heinz Ketchup is now offering the ability to create your own custom label for a bottle of ketchup. First you choose which size bottle you want, then you pick a totally custom original message.

~ Also ~

Everyone's favourite bite-size candy that melts in your mouth and not in your hands has the same idea going on. Check out: Customized M&M's.

Pretty cool ideas in my opinion.


Wednesday, August 09, 2006

My wife has competition


This is hard to admit...

Lately, there's been something on my mind. I can't get it out of my head ever since the first time I tried it. I need to have it over and over again.

Heck - I even had one last night. And if you're anything like me: a red blooded Canadian male, you've probably got the same problem.

Wendy's Wild Mountain Chicken Sandwich is the only solution. Try one - but be warned.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Civic Holiday 2006 Review

Tuesday morning, back to work. Yee haw. Pretty good weekend in fact. I tell ya, like all Canadians, I love my long weekends. Friday after work, Ferda and I played with Holly's ultimate team. Holly was out of town for a wedding for the weekend, and her team was short on players. Our normal Gullwings team didn't have a game that night due to an odd number of teams in the league - so it worked out well. Ferda and I had a lot of fun playing with that team. Got the win no problem.

Saturday was Larisa's bday party out in Stittsville. We all played some baseball for a while, which was a helluva lot of fun. I loved it. Clearly not done enough. After baseball, swimming and bbq food followed.

Sunday drove out to the cottage and met my dad. Saw the shed which cost my dad mobility in his right, middle finger. Looks pretty good. The shed, that is. The finger still looks pretty gnarly. Just took it easy out there, walked around, tossed the ball for bit, ate.

Monday - cut the grass, cleaned bathrooms, played DS. Later that night we had ultimate, got the win. Was a good game for me, had quite a few solid D's, and ran lots. It was iron-man; no subs. After the game, ate some pad thai that Ferda had made earlier and watched tv.

Forecast for this week: more ultimate. In fact, Ferda's playing EVERY night this week. For me, every night but Thursday.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Simpsons Trivia - August 3, 2006

In The Frying Game, according to Kent Brockman's report, what happened to the elephant that couldn't stop laughing?

A. He busted his trunk
B. His ears fell off
C. He was hired to do donut commercials
D. He was put to death


Memorable Episode Quotes:
Lenny: Yeah, you must be some kind of marriage super-genius, how about a few tips?
Homer: Certainly, Lenford. Make every day a celebration of your love. Surprise her with a pasta-salad. Put a mini beret on your wang.
Lenny: Oh, this stuff is gold.
Carl: Happy marriage, here I come.

Another one:
Judge: Next case: Duff Man versus Duff Brewing Corporation.
Duffman: Duffman's pension has been mismanaged! Oooh yeah!
Lawyer: Objection, that party-hardy additude is a registered trademark of the Duff Corporation.
Duffman: Whatever happened to fair-use. Oh!

Last one:
Bart: I'm Bart and this is Lisa.
Cletus: Dem city names, from now on you're Dengus Squatburg Jr. and Pamela E. Lee.
Lisa: But I like my old name.
Brandine: You hush up, Dengus!

Revenge of the Taxman

Some of my long time readers might remember this post from when I mentioned my dealings with a certain organization called the MPAC. Back then, in Nov '05, they had assessed the value of our property at $49K, which was way off the mark.

At the time, I decided to keep quiet about it, and pay my taxes at the $49K rate, which was pretty sweet at the time cuz it allowed us to keep some extra cash in the bank. However, I knew that fate would eventually catch up with me.

So, as you've guessed by now, fate has caught up with me. And so has the Taxman. So now I owe back taxes at the correct rate retroactive to June 13/05 from when we bought our house. It's quite a hefty bill. Put is this way, it's double what we paid for our honeymoon in Cuba. Ouch.

So in true Simpson's fashion, there's only one thing left to say: Ha. Ha.


I like me some Aragorn over Legolas but I thought this was hillarious! Enjoy!


For more lolling I also found this site but haven't watched all the videos yet. The 10 Best Will Ferrell Skits of All Time.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Simpsons Trivia - August 2, 2006

In Poppa's Got a Brand New Badge, according to Homer, how did he get so big and strong?

A. By tipping over cows as a child
B. From green vegetables and homework
C. By drinking a magical growth potion
D. By lifting beer mugs to his mouth


Episode quotes:
Mr. Burns: We've syphoned extra power off from the orphanage. Who are they going to complain to? Their parents?

One more:
Arnie Pie: This city has exploded in a fireball of rage.
Kent: I think what the viewers want to know, Arnie, is: Is my house okay?
Arnie Pie: You mean is your giant castle okay, Kent?
Kent: Don't hassel me because I bought at the right time.
Arnie Pie: When's my right time, Kent? When's my right time?

Another one:
Homer: Flanders, I was able to find your missing leaf blower, belt sander, and morning newspapers.
Ned: Nice work, inspector find it! Did you catch the thief?
Homer: Who said it was a he?
Ned: Well I sure didn't.
Homer: Who said you did!?
Ned: Nobody.
Homer: Wrong answer! Lets go.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

super_ap Rant #6

Yo - whassup dawgs? super_ap in da office. Gotz to throw up my respect to the G-O-D for all this beautiful weather He's been givin us. I mean you gotz ta love it, sunny days, warm nights; everything is tight and ai-ight. Peace.

But then today, I get this email from the bitchez in administration saying that:

The Province has issued a Power Warning today. High temperatures and high humidity levels are expected to drive power consumption to record levels today. To allow HBH to do it’s part in avoiding rolling blackouts today, the administration is asking everyone to reduce their use of electricity throughout the day by turning off lights and any unnecessary equipment.

What the fizzuck? Do they expect me and the A/P boos to work in the dark? What next? Get us to process our payabos without our ProSys Intel P4-640 3.4 Ghz personal computers? Impossible. And how the heck would I receive faxed copies of unpaid invoices if my Canon FaxPhone B70 wasn't plugged in? I wouldn't. This is wiggity-whack, and I'm talkin back, Jack.

Here's the worst thing: those tight wads in administration have already decreased the air conditioning to minimal. I'm sweatin like a huge, gelatinous blob. Don't those suits realize that we be saving HBH mad amounts of dollar bills? You see, each time we pay an invoice, we always make sure to take the 2% discount by paying within the terms of 2% MF, Net 30. We'd have to be some ill motha's not to, and we ain't ill motha's. We is the baddest, dopest, stone cold bizook-kizeepin' office supastars there ever was. We got it goin' ON. Ya feel me?