Wednesday, September 13, 2006

super_ap Rant #7

Ain't no party, like a third floor administration building party, cuz a third floor administration building party don't ---

Hold it. super_ap is back in black today, and this cold 'n' wet weather makes me mo' depresst than how Oprah feelz when they run outta cheesecake at the all-you-can-eat buffet. Oh snap!

Aiight, let me tell y'all 'bout this whack cracka from da academic side of da trax of the HBH campus. This shit all starts with her sending me this email:


-----Original Message-----
From: Slutty_McDoesItALot
Sent: Friday, September 01, 2006 9:26 AM
To: super_ap
Subject: Grant account number for [removed] Dept.

Hi James, I am trying to arrange a reception here in the [removed] Dept. for September 15th and the food and beverage bill needs to be charged to an account that I’m not used to charging. It should be called the [removed] Account that is contributed to by [removed] every year. Can you help me out? Also, we want to pay the speaker an honourarium that day, would you mind just filling me in on how long a cheque like that takes?

Slutty


So I writez her back:


-----Original Message-----
From: super_ap
Sent: Friday, September 01, 2006 9:54 AM
To: Slutty_McDoesItALot
Subject: RE: Grant account number for [removed] Dept.

Hi Slutty,

I found yo account # - it's [removed]. Assum'n we git tha signed requisizzle on tha 5th or 6th, that gives LOTS of time ta git tha cheque bizz-ack ta you by tha 15th. One thing ta keep in mind, if this is an honorizzle payment; we wiznill require tha Social Insurance Numbah n home address of tha individual receiv'n tha payment.

Werd,
super_ap


No problem, I'm thinkn to ma-self as I'm waitin for this requisition to arrive during the week after Labour Day. 'Bout a week goes by, still nothin', then I get this little gem of an email yesterday:


-----Original Message-----
From: Slutty_McDoesItALot
Sent: Tuesday, September 12, 2006 3:48 PM
To: super_ap
Subject: RE: Grant account number for [removed] Dept.

Hi James, I am still waiting to hear back from the speaker about his address in Germany but he is a German Citizen and therefore does not have a Social Insurance #. If I can get it to you by tomorrow will we still have time to get the cheque cut for the end of this Friday? Also can you also let me know what the SEPPP account # is because some of these seminar charges need to go to this account.

Thanks!
Slutty

My eyes just about popp'd outta my head. SEPPP account #?!?! What the fizzuck!? I don't even know what SEPPP stands for you crazy bi --- I calmed myself down n wrote her back:


-----Original Message-----
From: super_ap
Sent: Tuesday, September 12, 2006 4:01 PM
To: Slutty_McDoesItALot
Subject: RE: Grant account number for [removed] Dept.

Hi Slutty,

As a German citizen ballin' a service in Canada, I will have ta wit hold canadian taxes as per CRA guidelines. Hollaz to ma brothas on da East Block. The tax rate is 15% fo' puttin tha smack down in dis nation. So yo grant will be charged $400, $60 will go to
the taxman, n he’ll git a $340 CDN cheque n shit. You is right tho, I don’t need a SIN or otha killa numba, howeva, it’s very important thizzay I git his home address, so show some love niggaz. Get me tha paperwork ASAP, n we’ll git tha cheque ready fo' Friday.

As fo' tha SEPPP account numba, I don't have a blingin' clue what you is talkin' bout.

super_ap


Damn. Couldn't have been mo' straight than that. But I bet you bottom dolla that I'll be hearin from that cracka sometime today. Ma point is dis:

It don't matta how straight to tha point the super_ap is with these fools, they is always comin back wit da same ol' questions that I've heard befo'e. I'm sure it's tha same fo' all bruthas n sistas of the A/P crew; so many retards, so little time.

1 comment:

Ferda said...

nice post whitey!